Married and lonely
Sola-Leonis
Hello all. I hope I do not defile what seems to be family
friendly thread, so perhaps I need to put some feelers out
first. I would welcome some input from y'all about
marriage and intimacy--or the lack there of. Would this be
something that folks would be pen to discussing ?
1 Co 7:4-5
Thanks, I am familiar with the scripture. I guess I was
hoping to find some others that have been struggling with the
same issues.
Is she passive aggressive (weak person's coping
mechanism)?
Hmm no I would call it just not interested.
I believe if I never brought it up it would be perfectly fine. This has
been going on to some degree for our entire marriage (30 plus years) and has
been getting worse frankly I don't know how much more I can take.
Counseling is not an option (usually the first suggestion) and even though I am
told 'it's not me' I don't believe it any longer. I guess it comes down to only
a few options: stay, leave or cheat and one of them are godly.
You didn't mention murder.
Angela53510
This is the right place! People come here to ask for marriage
advice, rarely to talk about good and happy marriages. So much,
that sometimes it is downright depressing. Which is not to say,
you are causing that problem.
I don't feel better getting to know his heart.
Depleted
You know what gets wives interested? Romance,
doing nice things for them, remembering them first. Love! Have
you tried that yet?
He doesn't love her (Eph. 5:25–33).
kaylagrl
[He doesn't love her (Eph. 5:25–33).] That's a rather harsh...
Ex 20:14
He though about committing adultery.
I don't know what you call love.
He didn't mention contemplating murdering her--which frankly would have been
more loving--like ripping off a Band-Aid. Poor woman.
...and unfounded statement to make. imo...
That'll come up again (Heb 13:4, Mt 12:36).
Sola-Leonis
...Serpentdove, I am not certain why you would automatically
assume 'I don't love her'....
You said that you thought about
committing adultery (Ex 20:14). You and I have different definitions of love
(Eph. 5:25–33). Say I lust her, I like my
laundry done. Do not use the word love. That's our word.
"I prefer clarity to agreement." ~ Dennis Prager
...and if you don't know my heart then ask...
I now know your heart. I knew Sarah Palin's heart when
she said that she thought about murdering her own child (Pr
8:36). This is what we call in the Greek a no-brainer.
I do indeed love her as Christ loved the church...
Not quite.
...[F]rankly you cannot be with someone this long and raise
children -without- loving them.
I don't believe you. You believe you. Ask God if
you're right.
But the issue is not about love or nor don't... but merely a
portion of marital love that has gone missing...
By you (Mt 5:28).
"Good question! You see, brains! The answer is no, I
don't believe in it. Good for the man, lousy for the woman. She dies, she
suffocates. I've see it! And then the husband runs around complaining that he's
f**king a dead person, and he's the one who killed her!" ~ Daryl Van
Horne, The Witches of Eastwick
I must apologize to your group for bringing this up at all...
apparently here is a common set of answers being offered...
You're welcome (Ac 20:20).
...and I understand that with the information given it is easy
to assume that the cause is one sided or based on selfishness,
but it's not...
Blame her fallen Adam (Gen. 3:9–12).
... and I was hoping that I could find someone that has had
similar experiences...
Jesus had a similar experience.
He was hated, too.
kaylagrl
You can love someone and still be in a desperate situation.
If he loves God and loves her, he doesn’t contemplate committing adultery (Ex
20:14). She’s in a desperate situation and likely doesn’t know it.
The Bible also tells us not to forbid each other in intimacy
within marriage because of this very reason.
God has solutions in the manual.
Committing adultery
is not one of them (Ex 20:14).
People feel they need relief. We don’t know both sides of the
story but only what he has said.
Is that what you do? You hold people’s hand all the way to hell?
They each have issues they need to deal with and it takes two to
make a marriage work.
Without bringing a third party into their covenant (Matt. 19:6,
1 Co 6:16).
He said adultery wasn't a Godly option; so, I don't think he
intends to do such a thing.
Why did he say it? Why are you not horrified by it? Don’t you love your
neighbor? Don’t you want to tell him the truth? Prov. 2:16–19, Heb 13:4
But when you are lonely and feel rejected Satan can use that
weakness.
And now Satan and his forces know what’s on his mind. The cloud of angels are
shaking their heads because they don’t get it--God is so good. Men shout,
"Crucify him. Crucify him."
Therefore that is why we are told not to forbid each other
within a marriage.
He’s aware of the scripture. Did he mention it to his wife?--Your body doesn’t
belong to you. It belongs to me (1 Co 7:4). No, he said he has the option to
defile himself (Ex 20:14).
Sola-Leonis
Well, now I understand why you call yourself serpentdove.
You clearly have a lot of anger issues...
Eph
4:14
…Let him who has sinned not cast the first stone....
Jesus supported the death penalty for adulterers.
Kaylagrl, Thank you for you kind insight, yours was the only one
who tried to look at the heart…
We saw your heart. It stinketh (Jn 11:39).
Once again, I apologize for creating such a whirlwind…
You only wanted support for your
evil desires (Jer. 16:2).
…I wont waste any more time arguing or defending myself in cyber
space to someone who clearly has no clue.
Don’t talk to you wife--the married and lonely one on
the couch. Talk to perfect strangers.
...or wont look beyond their own distorted ideals.
Sometimes you gotta go where everybody knows your
name.
And they share your ideals.
I came here looking for godly insight… You will know them by
their fruit...
…Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are:
adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred,
contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions,
heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell
you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice
such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19–21 (NKJV)
kaylagrl
Wow oh
wow! I'm not even going to
dignify that with a response...
First you'd have to have dignity (Pr 31, Ro
1:32, Heb 13:4).
Response following...
... I would never come to you if
I had a private issue in my
life. How cruel and judgmental
can a person be? No help to this
poor person at all.
I'm not a marriage and family therapist. I only
play one on the internet.
Eph 4:14
See:
Satan’s Strategy, Part 1 by Charles Stanley
Sola-Leonis
[Ex 20:14] …[M]ore garbage from the self proclaimed Christian...
Are you
writing to me?
Ga 4:16
…I just had to take her off ignore long enough to see what other uneducated trailer trash she could come up with.
Something
about Thou shall
not that you
don’t get?
Ex 20:14
I wonder how long she will continue to spew and embarrass herself?
You’re
projecting again
(Eph 4:14).
I regret you can
no longer be
embarrassed (Jer
6:15).
See:
How
to Renew Your
Mind, Part 1 – A
by James
MacDonald
I guess that's why the Lord speaks of 'casting pearls before swine...'
Pearls like I
want to betray
my God and my
wife? Those kind
of pearls?
…[S]top
wasting your
breath…
Now an
appropriate use
of pearl/swine
moment. Next
time you wield
the sword trying
taking the
blindfold off.
….[Y]ou clearly need more help than any of us.
I’ve got a
savior.
Help's on the
way (Ps
64:7).
Sola-Leonis
It amazes me that folks who claim to be Christian and behave like that, while claiming it to be 'in the name of the Lord' ... it's really sad.
Are you
gossiping about
me again?
Ga 4:16. Is
anyone else here
telling you the
truth? Ac 20:20
While I have encountered some friendly folks on this site, its people like that with a Jezebel spirit…
You’re
projecting again
(Eph 4:14).
Jezebel sought
to murder the
prophets of God
(1 Kin.
18:4–13).
The only thing I can say is repeat Jesus's words in Matthew 7 - "You will know them by their fruit" (Matthew 7:15-20).
You can’t get
good fruits from
bad roots. Ask
yourself why
your tree
produces
adultery (Ex
20:14, Ga
5:19–2). Could
be
it’s dying.
I would never speak to anyone in that fashion…
Sit in a
padded pew and
get yourself a
fluffy puffy,
cotton candy
preacher (Is
30:10).
…[C]an you imagine if our Lord had?
Mt 12:34, Lk
19:27
Jesus loves
you (Jn 3:16).
Jesus is willing
to save you (2
Pe 3:9). Repent
(Eze 18:30-32;
Ac 17:30).
Believe (Mk
9:23).
kaylagrl
I'm not sure if your first comment was meant to be funny or an insult so I'll wait on the clarification.
You tell me.
What are your
standards? Do
you have any
integrity? Ps
139:21. Do you
endorse his
sinful plan? Ex
20:14 I'd get on
the record now (Heb
13:4) or you'll
give an account
later (Mt
12:36). I'm good
with this guy (Eze
33:8).
Are you willing
to tell him that
his plan is
evil?
Am 5:15 You'll
notice he didn't
say: Wow, my
plan was so
evil. Forgive me
Christian
community for
having named the
name of Christ,
then speaking
about wanting to
live like a pig
and asking you
all for an
endorsement (Ro
1:32). God
doesn't wink at
sin. Do you?
No, he attempted
to justify
himself and
blame others who
tell him the
truth--a sure
sign of one
falling away. I
think I'm the
only one will to
tell him the
truth by the
way. Haven't
read the whole
thread (Ac
20:20). You're
not seeing red
flags here?
Sounds like a
shipwreck
waiting to
happen (1 Ti
1:19). His wife
will experience
the brunt of it
if she's a
believer. That's
the deal. If
she's a
believer, she's
got a
heart (1 Jn
3:14). This
one--stone cold
(Eze 36:26). His
heart is harder
today than it
was yesterday.
You haven't
noticed? Could
be lights out
for him (Ge
6:3). He had a
divine
appointment--there
are no
coincidences--and
failed to repent
(Ps 95:8).
He could get
down on his face
before a holy
God. Otherwise,
God will take
him out at the
knee caps (Ro
14:11).
Doodahdad
… Jesus said "my yoke is light, come to me, all of you, and you will find rest..."
You believe he’s
in Christ. I do
not. Heb 13:4
“I prefer
clarity to
agreement.” ~
Dennis Prager
…not 'Dam you all. You are going to hell.'
God says what he
means and means
what he says
(Prov. 7:27;
Rev. 21:8).
…[He was] [l]ooking for a Godly resolution...
Committing
adultery is
godly? Ex 20:14
[R]emember, Psalms says "..a kind word turns away wrath..."
Pr
6:32, 26:4
“The greatest
sin in America
is calling sin
sin.” ~ Bob
Enyart Is 5:20
Rockrz
…[S]ometimes the Lord reveals to those that have married someone who has been married before (partner still living) or they themselves have been married before (partner still living) and their current marriage is actually adultery which they need to ask / receive forgiveness for and refrain from intimacy altogether because it would be more adultery to engage in intimacy.
Intimacy
adultery Ro 6:1
God can’t bless
you having sex
with someone
else’s wife
(Gen. 2:24, Ex.
20:14, Ps.
128:1–6).
Or, we could ignore what Jesus said about marrying someone who has been divorced (partner still living)... and doing so would be building their lives on sand and not the firm foundation of Jesus' sayings.... leading to destruction.
It’s called
serial adultery
(Rom. 7:2, 3).
See:
Supreme Court
Marriage
Many are in this situation and this is why intimacy and their marriages in general doesn't work.
I don’t believe
he’s said that
he is in this
situation in the
thread. If
that’s the
case—bigger
problems in
River City, yes.
Men can lose
their God-given
bonding
mechanism and
find themselves
in need of a
little blue
pill.
Really in that situation all one can really do is be roommates and focus more on the other person's relationship with the Lord as well as your own walk with the Lord.... and leave the monkee bidness alone.
If you believe
that, I’ve got a
bridge to sell
you. Mt 19:11
Our land is
corrupt (Hos.
4:1–3) as this
thread
highlights. Can
an adulterer
return?
Prov. 7:27; Rev.
21:8
“There’s always
hope. There’s
just no prayer.”
~ Dennis Prager
Paul was married then his 'ol lady either died or left him…
Probably because
he became a
believer.
Nothing new
under the sun.
Recommended
reading:
'Til Faith Do Us
Part: How
Interfaith
Marriage is
Transforming
America by Naomi
Schaefer Riley
My Bible did not come with a "Book of Bob".
Neither does
mine (1 Pe 4:5).
kaylagrl
…[Y]ou made up out of whole cloth that he does not love his wife.
You believe he
loves his wife.
I do not.
“I prefer
clarity to
agreement.” ~
Dennis Prager
Reprobates don’t
love (2 Cor.
13:3–5).
Christians love
(Eph. 5:25–33).
You believe
he’s a Christian.
I do not (Mt
7:20).
“I prefer
clarity to
agreement.” ~
Dennis Prager
…[Y]ou can throw a million Bible verses at us and look self-righteous…
I have no
righteousness of
my own (Is.
61:10).
Christ is
superior (Jer
9:23-24).
…You're picking on the person for something he did not say.
Sola-Leonis
quote: “I guess
it comes down to
only a few
options: stay,
leave or cheat
and one of them
are godly.”
Pr
23:7, Mt 5:28
…[Y]ou are falsely accusing him.
Proof please (Eph
4:14).
…You don’t know this person!
God knows his
heart. From
here, not lookin
too good (Mt
7:20).
…What if she's [his wife] cheating and that's why she doesn't want to be with her husband?
He hasn’t said
that’s the case
to my knowledge.
Again, haven’t
read the whole
thread. He says
I’m on ignore
and then keeps
responding to
me. If you’re
willing to lie
about: love,
honor, cherish;
you’re willing
to lie about a
member being on
ignore or not.
...[L]ots of self righteous judgment thrown in with random Bible verses…
See:
Judge Rightly Is
Not Some Guy's
Name
…tossed in to make you look good.
Who cares what I
say?
What has God
said?
Phil. 2:16
You have an awful lot to say for a newbie…
You’re welcome
(Ac 20:20).
kaylagrl
You don’t believe he's a Christian? Who died and made you God?
God knows his
heart. We are
fruit inspectors
(Mt 7:20).
Thinking about
committing
adultery is evil
(Ex 20:14).
You’re not
willing to say
that. I am (Heb
13:4).
You don’t know this person… You don’t know them personally.
Neither do you (Eph
4:14).
…[Y]ou are falsely accusing him.
Proof please (Eph
4:14).
...He does have you on ignore…
So he says. He
also said he’d:
love, honor and
cherish her
(Eph. 5:25–33).
If he’s not a
Christian, it
would be best to
fess up. Say,
I’m not a
Christian. I
lied. Sorry. I
misrepresented
myself. I am the
reprobate that
you all say I
am. Now, what?
No one expects a
reprobate to
remain faithful
to his wife.
When one claims
to be a
Christ-follower,
we can
reasonably
expect him to
follow Christ.
Sola-Leonis
...[W]hatever I say will also be perverted into something else...
You could have
retracted your
vile comment.
But we are
Sodom aka
America (Hos.
4:1–3).
You expected
lots of support.
Unfortunately,
you got it (Jer.
16:2).
Tu ipse esto
~ Socrates
[Multiple
critiques other
members]
Ro 1:16
kaylagrl
Nothing he's said would make us think he's not a Christian…
No one in my
church tells me
that committing
adultery is an
option for them
(Heb 13:4).
I don’t go to
the church of
Thyatira. If you
do, plan to go
into the Great
Tribulation.
It’s guaranteed
(Rev. 2:18–24).
Originally Posted by kaylagrl
Nothing he's said would make us think he doesn't follow Christ either…
The Jesus of
scripture is
against adultery
(Ex 20:14). He,
not the men
around him,
could forgive
sin (Jn 8:7).
...I do think counseling is needed and my uncle and aunt had a situation much like this. She was very private and refused help until my uncle had made up his mind to leave,then she said she'd go to counseling. By that time too much damage had been done and they divorced. I hope that doesn't happen in this situation.
Who filed for
divorce? Did you
support the one
filing? Jer.
16:2, Heb 13:4
Not about to discuss family situations with you...
I'm guessing you
supported your
evil uncle (Pr
23:7, Mt 18, Heb
13:4). When
America is
judged for her
sin, it is in a
small part
because of you
(Jer. 16:2, Hos.
4:1–3).
...[Y]ou might want to go join Westboro...
I bet he still
gets sweet
kisses on his
cheek from you.
Don't stand too
close to me on
judgment day.
Don't want to
get singed.
tourist
You don't want her to get singed? That's very thoughtful of you.
Lk 12:47
kaylagrl
[Presumably me] ...[T]he person says the more they show their real heart and everyone can see.
I support
marriage (Gen.
2:18–24).
Rockrz
That's what I was saying... if one is married to someone that was married before and their previous partner is still living, then they should not be having sex with them.
When they say
they’re not
having sex, you
believe them. I
do not.
“I prefer
clarity to
agreement.” ~
Dennis Prager
If you’re
willing to
commit serial
adultery (Rom.
7:2, 3), you’re
also willing to
lie.
None of this is the unpardonable sin…
Serial
adulterers (Rom.
7:2, 3) can be
forgiven.
…but the sin does need to be confessed and repented of and stopped.
Most will not
stop (your
word). Mt 19:11.
Should he wish
to honor the
Lord, then Holy
Spirit will
enable him to
live as he must.
He cannot return
to his wife as
she is defiled
(Deut. 24:4).
Dennis Prager is a very, very, very, very, very poor person to be getting spiritual advice from...
You had me at
very. He’s got
the spiritual
discernment of a
door knob,
agreed. He
teaches the
bible—badly.
I used to listen to him until he said on his show one day that God does not answer prayer... that's when I said "see ya".
Guess that
leprechaun god
didn’t work out
for him.
Blindness in
part has
happened to
Israel (Ro
11:25). He is
without excuse.
He encourages
men to have a
wicked thought
life (Mt 5:28,
Ro 1:32, Jas
1:15).
…I'm sure he's a nice person but he's lost as a goose in a whirlwind and doesn't know the first thing about the Lord.
There will be
plenty of nice
people in hell
(Ps 50:21).
Rockrz
Ultimately, it's good to not touch a woman... I'll take that which is good over flesh any day!
In this culture
not a bad idea
(Jer. 16:2).
I know I wouldn't want to bring a child in to this sin sick, disgusting, demonic world.
It’s not getting
any better (2 Ti
3:3 KJV, Ro 1:31
KJV).
J7
It only takes one bad woman to muck up a man, check out Jezebel.
Jezebel types do
not honor
marriage (Mark
6:17, 18). John
the Baptist was
hated for saying
so (Matt.
14:3–12).
Nothing new
under the sun
(Eccl 10:2, Jn
10:10).
Rockrz
...[U]nder the New Covenant there is no authorization to have a concubine or to get divorced and remarry while your original spouse is still kickin'. What are you, a Mormon or something?
Right. When
you're married,
you don't get
married again
(Rom. 7:2,
3)--unless you
live in Utah.
J7
Dear oh dear. You are both a bit clueless aren't you?
...From the guy
'keeping it
real'
by promoting
serial adultery?
Rom. 7:2, 3, Heb
13:4
I'm sorry you
don't know what
marriage is
(Matt. 19:6).
Show up at the
Great White
Throne without
your wife (fire
of life) lilfe
אִשָּׁה [ʾishshah
/ish·shaw/].
Find out what
the consuming
fire who kept
his vow (Mal
2:15) thinks
about that.
Recommended
reading:
The Divorce Myth
by J. Carl Laney
Attend a
CathOlic brothel
--and
get a whore
for yourself.
See how that
works out for ya
(Pr 2:19, Lk
17:37).
Married
and lonely